VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
