She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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