In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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