My sheets look like a crime scene.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
