That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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