so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
FUCK WHALES
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
