My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize