gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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