There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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