it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
