I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We have started to decorate penises.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
