doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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