Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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