I think i peed on brittanys purse
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
