This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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