whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
