playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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