Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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