Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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