I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Randomize