Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
tell me about the fingering
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