ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
