i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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