Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
