i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
