thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
