HIV tests are more positive than that guy
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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