Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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