walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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