shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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