Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
