my vag is so smooth its legendary
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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