quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize
