Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
