i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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