why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
last night I used snow as a chaser
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
