please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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