What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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