I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize