sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
