babies were throwing up all over the place
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
