Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
