forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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