I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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