shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
All I want is dick and wine.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
