I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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