You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
