He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
don't judge my taste in strippers
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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