so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Randomize