Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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