You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
