I used to practice getting hit by cars.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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