I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
