I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The beer is more important than you right now.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
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