I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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