so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
