so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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