I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
