you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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