if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
