Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
