I am puke
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
