Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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