You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
