her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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