i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
