I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
