he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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