Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize