Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
