Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
