dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize