susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
