Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
All the doctor said was why
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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