I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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