mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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