I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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