I wish I could teleport
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
