I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
